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 Post subject: Hilarious one liners!!!!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 8:12 am 

Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 5:50 am
Posts: 2

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day.

>Tomorrow is not looking good either.

>...I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make

>as they go flying by.

>...Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without


>...Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the


>...Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there

>the first time, chances are you won't be needing


> him again.


>...Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I

>thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"


>...My reality cheque bounced.

>...On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape


>...I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

>...You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut


>...Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy

>and taste good with ketchup.

>...Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

>...Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then

>beat you with experience.

>...A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.

>...Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be


>...After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of

>the month than you did before.

>...The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to


>...You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a


>...Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing

>worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

>...If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

>...When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

>...Following the rules will not get the job done.

>...When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more

>easily by reducing it to the question, "How would


> the Lone Ranger handle this?"

>...Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.

>...There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased

>this line.

>...Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be

>the king.

>...If at first you don't succeed......skydiving isn't for you.

>...Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted

>all of the time and have the time of your life.

>...When everything is coming your're in the wrong lane


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